Hello I'd like to submit an application.

To what program are you applying?

The one where you get to make the world a better place.

Could you be more specific, please?

Is there one where you get to live on a boat in you free time?

And explore the world?

And make friends who are also making the world a petter place?

Oceaonogropherpologist?

Not that one.

What about one were I can find the things that matter to people and the people that matter to me?

Sir, I do not think you are taking this seriously.

I would like to submit an application to find someone who loves me the way I love everyone before I meet them?

I'd like a boat with a cabin, kitchen, and sails.

Please.  I (don't) want to be alone forever.