They Are

You've escaped a mildly uncomfortable social situation.  You flee down avenues, bike lanes, intersections.  Break free and coast across the river.  Massive and reassuring. This is an anchor to the world.    The gulf, washed up at our doorstep.  Placid, yet wild and powerful.  Here you think of them.

At the sidelines of a party.  The social event of the season for whoevergivesafuck.  Dart in and out of conversations.  You've got the right comments, on the right talking points.  You only offer up a few.  Mildy invested.  Mind wanders.  You reach for a hand that wont be there.  Later you tell this story.

They aren't aware what would have become.  You've both accepted that these mildly jarring reunions are frozen moments at dawn.

I learned apathy, while we honed our ability to indulge.

I am a bit of a chameleon, really.

I mastered delight in the simple things, blurring out inconvenient decisions to come.  Introspection above all else, your inquisition was lost on me.  New media, ghost stories.  A comfortable kind of lonely.

Vampires suck identity out of their victims till they can pass as one of the living.

I have never had an original thought in my life.

Hello I'd like to submit an application.

To what program are you applying?

The one where you get to make the world a better place.

Could you be more specific, please?

Is there one where you get to live on a boat in you free time?

And explore the world?

And make friends who are also making the world a petter place?

Oceaonogropherpologist?

Not that one.

What about one were I can find the things that matter to people and the people that matter to me?

Sir, I do not think you are taking this seriously.

I would like to submit an application to find someone who loves me the way I love everyone before I meet them?

I'd like a boat with a cabin, kitchen, and sails.

Please.  I (don't) want to be alone forever.

Pets are like children.  I've felt like such a terrible person since Tycho died.

I need to pare down my belongings.  No more bed.  No more Books.  No more chair.  No more filing cabinet.  No more pots and pans and notebooks and desk and posters and lizard cage.

I need to be mobile, alive, inspired, ready to strike.  These are things I need.    I need to be on the open road with plans ahead and memories behind.  I'm on track to be a human being.

I'm skating on an ice rink in Eau Claire.  Colby Cody?  Something on the north side.  No one is there like usual.  I'm skating the circumference.  Counter clockwise.  I was going clockwise before, but honestly, I'm not that good at crossovers in that direction.  I'm tired, but I'm skating and skating and the amber light is shining down and there is nothing else.  It is a little bit frustrating to me that all this money goes to my college fund.  But whatever.  There isn't any difference later, it's still going to my college fund.  Retroactively.  

Unlacing my skates.  The laces are tight and my skin is dry and cracking.  I don't really care about it that much.  Alone.  I am pretty alone.  The rink is on the southeast side.  Shawtown?  I'm listening to spiders (kidsmoke), looking at a "no smoking" sign, reading a book by the Dalai Lama about how it is okay to be alone.