Another Celebrity Sighting

Ideally while you read this, you should also listen to this:




I saw Edward Norton on the subway the other day. Or was it Tyler Durden? In any case, he was standing there on the far end of the platform, motionless and isolated. A vacant look occupied his face. His arms hung limply at his sides. The sleeves of his tan trench-coat rippled slightly in the wind originating from the depths of the tunnel. I don't know what Tyler Durden was doing down there, but he almost certainly wouldn't want me writing about it on the internet. I may have to go into witness protection.

There are electronic boards hanging in the stations. They display information about incoming trains such as train length and estimated time of arrival. Sometimes there is no ETA, only the word: ARR. I assume this is because you can never tell when a pirate-train will arrive at the station.

This one time, David and I saw the most badass thing to ever happen on the metro.

A train pulls up to the station unannounced. All the windows are blacked out. Once the train stopped, three dudes (dressed in all black and carrying shotguns) step out simultaneously from three different cars. Then a guy, also dressed in black, pushes a large wheeled box from the front car to one of the middle cars. The three armed men step back in and the train moves on.

We had just witnessed an elaborate bank heist. The robbers had dug into a bank vault from a nearby subway tunnel and used a hijacked subway train to move the take, disguised as metro employees, through the metro system until they jumped the tracks onto an abandoned rail line and rode off into the post-apocalyptic sunset.

This is what we witnessed.

I really don't know if this bothers anyone else, but. Some of the time the speed of the escalator handrail is slightly more than that of the escalator stairs themselves! This bothers me to no end. It threatens to pull me off balance and drop me into the pit of elephant seals below. "Elephant Seals?!?" you say. I promise to record them one day.