Well here we are.  I don't think that much could be about this as a real infinite bandage-ripping-off  thing.  Sometimes I steal from those around me without giving back.  Like maybe, I'm not cagey, just enthralled.  Sometimes we all are.  Sometimes words are like a sludge of foam and particulate matter that is bushed up as a ring around high tide.  Or whipped around like laundry.  Good thing too.
Really all that one can do in these rut type, agoraphobia meets cabin fever meets self destruction meets delusions of grandeur type situations, is to ride the wave.  Most of the time there isn't any real danger, and its an experience, anyway.  At least its probably better than getting lost in the routine and carrying on like nothing.  That's really the best way to slow down time, to savor it.  Take it all, be selfish.  Choose to exist with all the shit that's going on, really live an it and not above it.  The shit is reality and everything else is an abstraction layer.  Better to not ever hang out up there because you'd just have to peel it back to figure out what is going on or maybe not peel it back at all, maybe just like not even notice that the refracted spectrum type images are so thoroughly expanded that the original content isn't even decipherable at least not without some kind of key or honestly thick manual.
Here we are, it is better than the alternative.